Thinking of You

'Oh I'm thinking of you

And all the things that you wanted me to be
And I'm trying now'
-Lenny Kravitz

It's been three years since my mother died. Some days, I hear her voice, and it's like she was here yesterday. Some days I try, but can't remember, how she would react to something, like she's been gone forever.

I thought about writing about how my life is now, with respect to my mother, or publishing something I wrote three years ago, in the aftermath of her death, or putting up the transcript of what I said at her funeral, but I've decided to go for this instead.

Like many of us, my mother never liked pictures of herself, but I always liked pictures of her, even the ones that don't look right. I like them, because that is who my mother is - the person who didn't always have her eyes open as the picture was taken, or who wasn't smiling, or who was caught off guard. A posed picture may tell a 1000 words; an unposed, or mis-posed, one can tell so much more.

If she were alive today, she would probably not want me to post these pictures, but she also wouldn't stop me - that was her way: not to get in the way of her children, even if it meant a little embarrassment for her.

Without further ado, I'm thinking of you, mom, and all the things you wanted me to be....

My mom an I in late 1976/early 1977

Like mother, like son - eyes closed

I always had a safe feeling when my mom cut my hair - this was in 1984

A very odd family photo from the late 1990s

At Emily's high school graduation - I love her smile in this picture

With her first grandson, Kofi-Atta, in 2002

In Ghana, in 2005, when we unintentionally both wore green shirts

Speaking to us at our wedding in 2006

At our wedding reception in 2007

The last picture I have of my mother healthy and happy - goofing around with Maya in Summer 2009