a little over a week ago, lauren and i were walking along a busy street when i saw 3 teenage kids running across the street. it looked like 2 of them were chasing the third. they caught up to him and started beating him up - punching and kicking him on the ground. i started walking faster toward them and saw another guy run across the street to get to them. by the time we got to him, his attackers were gone, so we helped him up and helped him gather his things.
i was really bothered by this, not just because of the beating, but because of where it happened. it was a few steps from a bus stop where at least 10 people stood, watched all this happen, and did nothing. i’ve been mugged before, and was not helped during the mugging. people who helped me up afterward told me they didn’t help during the mugging because they were worried the guys might have a knife and they didn’t want to put themselves in danger. i can understand that to some degree, but that all these people at the bus stop made no attempt to help the kid after the attackers had left, has really been gnawing at me - no one seemed to want to be the responsible person and help the kid out. they waited for the us, who were further away, to do anything.
over the last year, i’ve been struck by how much i’ve seen people wait for someone else to take care of some problem they have; to take responsibility.
i first noticed it with the snow. when it started snowing (and didn’t seem to stop) last november and december, i twice got into conversations with people where i mentioned that i was surprised nothing was being done to clear the snow, even as it was falling. both times i got a ‘what?!?’ kind of response. like, why would anyone want to do that? people were waiting for the snow to melt, for nature to take the responsibility of clearing the streets. of course, this didn’t happen and eventually, the transport minister stepped down because he wasn’t responsible enough to clear the snow.
at my job, i deal with people who are on the peripheries of my regular work. one of them once said ‘i don’t want to be responsible’ for something they were clearly supposed to be responsible for. there have been a number of back and forth issues i’ve noticed, that could have been done by someone, but didn’t, or got passed around so much until someone eventually took care of it, because no one wanted to be responsible.
i see my job as being a helper of students, which i very much enjoy. there have been so many times students have said i was the only person that had bothered to ask what their problem was before shooing them off, telling them ‘i can’t help’ without even hearing what they needed help with.
last week, a student came to my office because she had some questions about an area of the university i’m unable to deal with. i told her where she needed to go to deal with that kind of issue, and she was told they couldn’t help her. she came back to my office, so i called that office. they said they were the only office on campus that could help her, so she went back to the office and was able to get help the second time. why couldn’t she get help the first time? because someone in that office didn’t want to be responsible.
about 6 weeks ago i noticed an unopened envelope was in the hallway outside our flat. after it hadn’t moved for a week, i picked it up. it was addressed to our neighbor’s flat, but not to his name. i put it on his welcome mat, thinking he didn’t realize it was addressed to his flat. the next day, it was back to were it was in the hallway again - i put it back on his welcome mat. next day, hallway, then back to his welcome mat. he then put it on the edge of his welcome mat, where i felt it wasn’t blocking the way. it sat there for several weeks. it’s like he thought some envelope fairy would come and magically take away the envelope.
last week, i noticed the envelope was gone. the police knocked on our door that night. our neighbor’s flat had been broken into - ‘broken into’ is a strong phrase here because there was no forced entry. the cop said to me, ‘make sure your doors are locked when you leave home’. i’m guessing someone not responsible enough to deal with an envelope addressed to their flat is also not responsible enough to lock their door when they leave home. why a thief would also take an envelope is beyond me, but fairies might come in all shapes and sizes.
as i write this, there is another envelope on the ground floor of our flat, addressed to an address on the third floor. i’m too lazy to walk up an extra 2 flights of stairs, but i’ve seriously thought about putting it on that person’s welcome mat, to see what comes of it.
i can’t believe it’s a scottish thing, or a uk thing, because all the people i’ve worked closely with, and know on a personal level, are very responsible people. maybe i’m just becoming a bitter middle-aged man and maybe this has been happening around me for all of my life, and it’s just never bothered me before. or maybe, i’m one of the responsibility fairies - the people who say ‘someone’s got to do it, so it might as well be me.’
i was really bothered by this, not just because of the beating, but because of where it happened. it was a few steps from a bus stop where at least 10 people stood, watched all this happen, and did nothing. i’ve been mugged before, and was not helped during the mugging. people who helped me up afterward told me they didn’t help during the mugging because they were worried the guys might have a knife and they didn’t want to put themselves in danger. i can understand that to some degree, but that all these people at the bus stop made no attempt to help the kid after the attackers had left, has really been gnawing at me - no one seemed to want to be the responsible person and help the kid out. they waited for the us, who were further away, to do anything.
over the last year, i’ve been struck by how much i’ve seen people wait for someone else to take care of some problem they have; to take responsibility.
i first noticed it with the snow. when it started snowing (and didn’t seem to stop) last november and december, i twice got into conversations with people where i mentioned that i was surprised nothing was being done to clear the snow, even as it was falling. both times i got a ‘what?!?’ kind of response. like, why would anyone want to do that? people were waiting for the snow to melt, for nature to take the responsibility of clearing the streets. of course, this didn’t happen and eventually, the transport minister stepped down because he wasn’t responsible enough to clear the snow.
at my job, i deal with people who are on the peripheries of my regular work. one of them once said ‘i don’t want to be responsible’ for something they were clearly supposed to be responsible for. there have been a number of back and forth issues i’ve noticed, that could have been done by someone, but didn’t, or got passed around so much until someone eventually took care of it, because no one wanted to be responsible.
i see my job as being a helper of students, which i very much enjoy. there have been so many times students have said i was the only person that had bothered to ask what their problem was before shooing them off, telling them ‘i can’t help’ without even hearing what they needed help with.
last week, a student came to my office because she had some questions about an area of the university i’m unable to deal with. i told her where she needed to go to deal with that kind of issue, and she was told they couldn’t help her. she came back to my office, so i called that office. they said they were the only office on campus that could help her, so she went back to the office and was able to get help the second time. why couldn’t she get help the first time? because someone in that office didn’t want to be responsible.
about 6 weeks ago i noticed an unopened envelope was in the hallway outside our flat. after it hadn’t moved for a week, i picked it up. it was addressed to our neighbor’s flat, but not to his name. i put it on his welcome mat, thinking he didn’t realize it was addressed to his flat. the next day, it was back to were it was in the hallway again - i put it back on his welcome mat. next day, hallway, then back to his welcome mat. he then put it on the edge of his welcome mat, where i felt it wasn’t blocking the way. it sat there for several weeks. it’s like he thought some envelope fairy would come and magically take away the envelope.
last week, i noticed the envelope was gone. the police knocked on our door that night. our neighbor’s flat had been broken into - ‘broken into’ is a strong phrase here because there was no forced entry. the cop said to me, ‘make sure your doors are locked when you leave home’. i’m guessing someone not responsible enough to deal with an envelope addressed to their flat is also not responsible enough to lock their door when they leave home. why a thief would also take an envelope is beyond me, but fairies might come in all shapes and sizes.
as i write this, there is another envelope on the ground floor of our flat, addressed to an address on the third floor. i’m too lazy to walk up an extra 2 flights of stairs, but i’ve seriously thought about putting it on that person’s welcome mat, to see what comes of it.
i can’t believe it’s a scottish thing, or a uk thing, because all the people i’ve worked closely with, and know on a personal level, are very responsible people. maybe i’m just becoming a bitter middle-aged man and maybe this has been happening around me for all of my life, and it’s just never bothered me before. or maybe, i’m one of the responsibility fairies - the people who say ‘someone’s got to do it, so it might as well be me.’
I'd say slip it under the door crack next time.
ReplyDeletethe envelop was a little on the fat side and there wasn't enough space under the door. good idea though!
ReplyDeleteI notice this attitude often here in California. I'm not sure where it stems from but people around here also seem to think that community doesn't exist, that it's a "fend for yourself" society we live in. In a way it is and to survive we must become this way? I beg to differ.
ReplyDeletegood blog post. I agree. Folks seem to be like that everywhere.
ReplyDelete