please let the sun go down on me

Back in late October, I wrote a blog post about the limited sun we got in the sky back then. Now, in late April, we have quite the opposite. A couple of days ago, Lauren said to me ‘it’s light so late in the evenings’; it was 8:36 pm. I regularly hang clothes out to dry at ‘night’, even though it’s still light outside; after the hour-long washing cycle, after I took a shower, after I rode the ½ hour home from work, after I left work at 5:30 pm. You get the idea, I’m hanging clothes outside at 8 or 9 pm, to dry. I’m the odd guy in our building who hangs clothes outside overnight, but I know that, come 6 or 7 am, the sun will be out again, and the clothes will get dry while I’m at work.

Of course, there is the downside to the light. I’ve had problems sleeping for 20 years, since I was a teenager. I’ve had problems falling asleep, problems with waking up in the middle of the night, and the problem I have had over the last several weeks - waking up too early.

For most days over the last 3-4 weeks, I have woken up at about 5:30 am, after sleeping about 6-6½ hours. I can usually get by on 6 hours sleep for a few days in a row, but a few weeks is starting to take it’s toll on me. What is the cause of this lack of sleep? The light. I’ve never been able to sleep when it’s light outside. Even when I have experienced my worst jet-lag, I’m only able muster an hour, or so, during daylight hours.

So I wake up at 5:30, lay there for a while, and usually get up at 6, not sure what to do with myself - no papers to grade, no exam questions to write, no student emails to respond to. It’s during these early morning hours that I miss teaching the most.

I am able to get through the day without feeling particularly tired, although my body tells me that I am, with an eye twitch that lasts for days, or sore muscles that didn’t get enough rest. I get home and feel fine, but in an hour or two, I’m exhausted. I often feel like I could go to bed at 8 pm, but I don’t. I worry that if I go to bed at 8, I’ll wake up at 3, and who wants that, really? Instead, get through the evening in a tired stupor, going to bed at 11 or 11:30, and get my 6 ½ hours for the night. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep because I’m worried I won’t be able to sleep - lack of sleep caused by thinking about lack of sleep.

I’ve been told it will get to the point where it is light at 4:30, and dark at about 11:30. I’m sure many people like the idea of having 19 hours of daylight, I’m dreading it, much like I dreaded getting only 6 hours of light back in December. Oh, to live on the equator.