The Hearse

The man stood there on the sidewalk of the street, blowing his nose with a napkin from the restaurant he had just walked out of. "Woman's Work" by Kate Bush was playing, as it muffled out the street sound and the sniffling of his nose. Although there were a lot of cars driving by at high speeds, there was almost no one on the sidewalk, and he tried to get across the street when he saw someone coming his way, as to not make eye contact with the person.

On closer look, he was not just blowing his nose, he was crying, tears slowly coming down his cheek, him wiping them off of his face before they dropped to the ground. He didn't want to be asked if he was okay or to explain why he, a grown man, was standing there, crying on a street after just walking out of a restaurant. He made his way to the other side of the street before a man, talking on his phone, made it too close to him.

As he crossed the street and composed himself, Aimee Mann's “Wise Up” could be heard. As he was walking down the street he saw a Mercedes hearse drive by. He didn't remember the last time he saw a hearse, and thought it was odd that on this day, of all days, was the day he saw one. It had clear windows, so he could see the light brown coffin in it, yellow flowers on the top.

10 minutes earlier, I was sitting in that restaurant, eating an Egg McMuffin. I don't remember the last time I had an Egg McMuffin. Sarah McLachlan's "Do What You Have To Do" was playing in my ears.

I listen to that song every 21st of the month, as I sit in McDonald's, remembering my mother, doing what I have to do. The song always makes me cry, and it usually takes a song or two after it ends on my itunes genius, to recover. As I start to tear up in the restaurant, I get up and walk out, sometimes before I'm done eating, and I become that man, standing on the sidewalk of the street, blowing my nose with a napkin from McDonald's, missing my mother.

Hibs

A few months ago I was reading "Why England Lose?" a pop-economics/psychology book about the beautiful game.

One part of the book (I can't remember if it was an entire chapter or just part of one) focused on how people become fans of a specific team. There were a number of reasons - family, friends, community, following the crowd. The one that stuck with me is the person who becomes a fan of a team because that team is the first exposure they have to the sport, or the league, even if this happens after they are adults.

Before I moved to Edinburgh, I knew almost nothing about the Scottish Premier League. If you ask an average American soccer fan to name two teams in the SPL, and they'll probably say Rangers and Celtic. If you ask them to name three, I'll bet most can't. If you would have asked me last summer what European league Hibernian and Motherwell were in, I wouldn't have had the foggiest idea. I now know, as do you, that they are in the Scottish Premier League.

The SPL gets completely overshadowed by the English Premier League in the UK, and with good reason - the teams aren't particularly good. Other than Rangers or Celtic, I doubt any of the SPL teams could win more than 1 or 2 games out of 10, played against an average EPL team.

In moving to Edinburgh, one thing I wanted to do was support a local team. Rangers and Celtic were out, because they're both in Glasgow, the football hotbed of Scotland. With my lack of SPL knowledge, I wasn't even sure there was a team in Edinburgh that was in the SPL - turns out there are two. Hearts and Hibernian (or Hibs for short). I wasn't thrilled at the thought of supporting a team I had never heard of, and didn't really pursue becoming a fan before I got here.

On one of my early bike rides/getting lost episodes, in my first few weeks in Edinburgh, I ended up on the eastern end of town and saw that a lot of things were painted green - pubs, and other buildings in general. It wasn't the dark Michigan State green (which I bleed, by the way), but more of a lighter green. I learned on that day, that I was in Hibs country. I became one of those people who become a fan of a team because of 1st exposure. I was about a block from an SPL stadium for the first time, surrounded by the team's color, and I became a Hibs fan - sort of.

I don't know if it's because the team's color is green, reminding me of my beloved MSU, or if it was that first exposure, but I now care about Hibs. I'm as big a fan as one could be who has never been to game, never watched a game on TV, and doesn't know a single player on the team. I still care about Hibs, even though just about the only things I know about them is their team color, where their stadium is, and the fact that they stink this year. I cringe and think "damn you Hibs" every time I see they have lost another game, and fall lower and lower in the league table.

The thing is, if I had happened to be riding my bike on the west side of town that day, near the stadium of the "other team" in Edinburgh, I'd be excited. Hearts are in third place in the SPL right now, which is a big deal. In the 12 years of the SPL, Rangers or Celtic have won every single season, and only once did one of them not come in second. If your team is not from Glasgow, you're hoping for third place, where Hearts sits right now.

I can't bring myself to be a Hearts fan, and cringe just as much when I see them continuing to win games and I do when Hibs loses. I don't like watching Hearts climb up the league table, holding on, very comfortably, to third in the league.

Instead, I support lowly Hibs. I'm a Hibs fan; I've said it. We stink, we may get relegated, but dammit, we're Hibs!